You’re likely suffering from a disease right now and might not be aware of it.

This disease is widespread, particularly throughout the Western world, and affects people of all ages, races, socioeconomic status, etc., though women tend to be praised for having it. It affects every aspect of one’s life, including sleep, relationships, overall health, and happiness. The disease to which I’m referring is busyness. Do you have it?

You might think I’m being facetious, but I’m actually quite serious.

How many times in the past week have you said one or more of the following phrases?

• I don’t have time for [fill in the blank]
• I don’t have time
• I’m too busy
• I’m so busy
• I’m so exhausted

If you’re unsure, start noticing how frequently these words circulate through your brain, come out of your mouth, or are sent in a text or email.

In my former bodywork practice, some clients said that they were “too busy” to notice how their body felt, how they were using it, or follow through with their Self-care recommendations. I get it. Life is very full: work, kids, family, exercise, bills, chores, commuting, shopping, cooking, etc. There’s usually a lot on your proverbial plate. Our society places high value on busyness, as if it were a badge of honor to wear proudly. I hear people talk about drastically reducing their sleep to maximize their productivity, saying things like, “You got 6 hours of sleep? I got 5 [gloating].” This goes back to my last post about unsubscribing from martyrdom. How did we as a culture equate busyness with our own Self-worth? Somehow we did, and it has become an epidemic.

Perfectionism can play a role, too, and is often a co-infection with busyness. In addition to recovering from “busyness,” I’ve also been recovering from perfectionism for years. I used to try to prove my worth by how much I could do, how hard I could work, and how capable I could be. Then, when I was disabled and unable to work and be “productive” in the way that our society lovingly values, it really made me realize that my worth as a person had and has no correlation with how much I “produce” or how much income I generate. This is true for you, too. You don’t have anything to prove.

Notice your reaction to that sentence. If you thought, “Oh yes I do!” you might consider reflecting on what leads you to believe you must prove your Self, and to whom. What benefit do you get from that belief? What harm comes from it? Take a moment to reflect.

Say What You Mean

You, your neighbor, the person in front of you at the coffee shop, and I all have the same amount of time in a day: 24 hours. To say, “I don’t have time,” is not exactly true. What we often actually mean when we say “I don’t have time” is really, “I’m prioritizing [this] over [that].” When a client says, “I don’t have time to do my visualization practice,” they mean, “I prioritize other things over this right now.” Prioritizing things/people/obligations over something like Self-care isn’t right or wrong, but let’s begin using the correct words. Try it and see how that changes your intention and feeling about what you’re saying. When you say instead, “I’m prioritizing work over Self-care,” is that in alignment with what you want in your life and how you want to feel right now? There is no correct answer: simply notice.

Words are powerful, and you’re invited to start noticing more closely how you use them, just as you pay attention to how you use your physical body throughout the day. For years I’ve been using the phrase, “I have plenty of time.” In the early years after my brain injury, it took me a little bit longer to do things, including getting out of the house to go to work. I used to look at the clock and shout expletives, but one day it occurred to me to stop saying the words that would add stress to my life [I don’t have time] and replace them with ones that serve me better [I have plenty of time]. Even when I am running a few minutes behind, which is always when the car in front of me ironically goes below the speed limit for no apparent reason, I still say, “I have plenty of time,” and you know what? I do. I make it to my destination pretty darn close to the designated time, even if it’s not as early as I wanted. Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to start saying, “I have plenty of time.” How does this change your mood and the sensations in your body, such as muscular tension, breath, clenching teeth, etc.? Let me know in the comments: I’d love to hear what you notice.

The Effort of Being Present

Our culture values productivity, achievement, and busyness, which generally keeps people stuck in their head and disconnected from their body. In Ayurveda, the traditional Indian system of medicine often described as the “sister science to Yoga,” this state of being stuck in our heads and thoughts, filled often with worry, anxiety and stress, is said to be too much vata dosha, or to oversimplify, air. Think of it as too much hot air swirling in your head, your joints, and body, causing other issues like digestive distress, insomnia, dry skin, joint pain, and more. Any of these feel familiar?

When you’re in “busy” mode, you’re typically caught up in your thoughts, thinking about the next thing, or ruminating over something in the past, but not present. Did you notice that you were holding your breath? Probably not.

When you slow down just enough to notice your breath, how you’re sitting at your computer or holding your phone as you read this, and un-clench your teeth, you come back to the here and now. Bring your awareness to your feet, to your hands, and then to your lips. Notice each toe, each finger: the temperature and texture of each. Notice the texture of your lips. This is what’s happening now in the body in which you’re living.  The more you take these brief moments to pause and notice your body, the better you can take care of your Self, reduce your stress, and be present in the moment.

Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation with someone when they suddenly pulled out their phone and check a text message or email that has nothing to do with your conversation? How does that make you feel? To me, it feels icky and very inconsiderate (when they hadn’t stated it was urgent). This is how it feels when someone is not present. Whether it’s driving your kids to school, doing a yoga practice, or having a conversation with someone, when you’re fully present in the moment, feeling, aware, observant, and attentive, you’re safer, live with intention, have better relationships with your Self and others, and ultimately do a better job at whatever you’re doing.

In the book, Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson, he says:

When you watch a good movie, you simply let yourself be entertained…You just cast your awareness on the screen and let the movie do its thing. By the same token, if you’re talking to the person next to you throughout the film or are mired in some other mental activity, you miss the movie. Simply noticing requires effort. It does not require strain. (7)

Don’t miss out on the movie of your life by being busy, rather than being present. Slow down to the speed of life that brings you more joy and value, rather than stress and dis-ease. Yes, that’s what “disease” means: dis-ease, or lack of ease. This doesn’t necessarily mean you drop everything to retire on the beach in Mexico (you could), but rather, taking moments to put your phone down and be present with what is happening in and around you. It means checking in with your body from time to time to just notice how you’re breathing, if you’re clenching your teeth, what thoughts you’re entertaining, or how you’re sitting. None of this takes a lot of time or strain, but it does, as Carson says, require effort, though not a lot.

Chronically staying in your head and over-extending yourself keeps you from feeling. While this might seem safer than feeling your emotional and/or physical pain, anger, sadness, grief, or even joy, in the end, chronic stress can contribute to physical, mental and emotional dis-ease and distress. If you want the details on how stress affects your health, read Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky. I have certainly allowed busyness to drown out how I feel and purposefully disconnect from my Self. This served me temporarily but ultimately kept me stuck in mental spaces that didn’t serve me.

The Cure

Even in this past month recovering from surgery, I almost contracted busyness again. I felt it coming on after a couple weeks: the itch to “do.” My dear friend, colleague, and incredible coach, Brenda Reiss, called me out on it. Admittedly reluctantly, I took the antidote of presence and rest and allowed my Self to “be.” Even though I wasn’t “doing” a whole lot on the outside, it was the reminder I needed that my body was certainly doing a ton of work on the inside and needing most of my energy to accomplish that.

Even your own inner healing work is enough “doing.” This, too, requires a lot of energy and should not be discredited or disregarded. In the stillness and quiet comes the integration of it all. Hence why in a Yoga practice we end in śavāsana, or corpse pose. It is the ultimate surrender, the ultimate integration.

The only way to change our cultural values, like busyness over health and happiness, is to start with your Self. Every day you get to choose how you prioritize your time and energy. You can fill your schedule to the brim, or not. You can choose to stay in your head and out of your body, or not. You can choose to be present, or not. You can choose what thoughts you think and believe. There will be times when circumstances change your priorities: this is life. Making conscious and intentional choices is the first step in curing the disease of busyness and finding greater happiness. What will you choose?